Thursday, August 24, 2017

Me and My Best Friend Ask Each Other Questions


So when I was about 4 years old, my mom was able to get me into this new school. I was placed in a homeroom and one of the moms hosted a party for everyone in this class. We got to the party and went out back where a little blonde tomboy and her mom were playing badminton. I asked to play and the rest is history! 14 years later, this blonde tomboy is still putting up with me.


We've gotten closer and closer over time and she's become my best pal and confidante. We've always been able to understand each other even when we kind of don't. It's very lucky when you find someone whom you can invite over and just do nothing together. She just gets it.

I already know that we'll be 23 years old, finally making good on that promise to visit a European city, visiting museums and flirting with locals. At 30 years old we'll be buying peaches and strawberries at a farmer's market catching up about our jobs. At 50 we'll be going to the local arthouse theater in lipstick and linen clothes, complaining about our husbands (or boyfriends, who knows) and hiding white wine in our purses.

Right now, we're off to college (both going to Massachusetts, but at universities 2 hours apart) and dreading next week when we pack and head up. So I put some questions together for her and asked her to put together some questions for me. What ensued was a half-interview-half-conversation. 'L' is me, 'Q' is her. To give you a background for the start of this recording, she forgot to bring her list of questions and thus had to re-write them down.

Q: Okay, I can only think of 8...

L: Okay, I mean you'll probably remember as we go, right?

Q: Maybe.

L: Or... the first few ones I have are really simple ones. So, then you could just be like, "What about you?" And then we can do that.

Q: Mm!

L: What? Did you remember more?

Q: *nods, writes*

L: And think of new ones, too! Okay, cool.

Q: Okay.

L: Okay, what's your zodiac sign?

Q: Aquarius. What's your earliest memory of us besides when we first met?

L: Ooh.. Probably I remember when we were swinging on the swing sets once, like in pre-K, and I think we were sharing who our crushes were and we both said Drew.

Q: Gross.

L: Yeah, I know. But I remember, like, looking around at the boys in the schoolyard, trying to pick the guy who I thought was the cutest.

Q: *laughs* He's such a dick now.

L: I know. I agree. Um, what's your personality type?

Q: Virtuoso.

L: Do you remember what the letters are?

Q: I think it's INSP.

L: Yeah, I think you're right. (Nope. It's ISTP...)

Q: But I think "Virtuoso" sounds better. When do you expect to reach your peak if you haven't already?

L: Fresh out of college would be a nice peak, going into graduate school.

Q: I feel like my entire life has been a peak. *laughs*

L: *laughs* I don't really believe in peaks. Because I feel like you can have multiple. I don't think there has to be one. Although, I know people who I went to school with who I'm like, "Yeah you've already peaked. 8th grade was your peak."

Q: That's terrible. Such low expectations.

L: It's true though! It's accurate. Like, for people who don't live a substantial life, it's like 8th grade was your peak because you didn't have to do anything and all you did was party...

Q: Nobody parties in 8th grade!

L: They had their version of parties. Or freshman year, you know? Who is one band or person you want to see in concert?

Q: Lil Yachty.

L: Okay. Wait, spell that so I know how to spell it in the thing.

Q: *Laughs* Only if you include that you don't know how to spell Lil Yachty.

L: Is it like "Yah-Tee"?

Q: It's L-I-L-Y-A-C-H-T-Y.

L: Oh! Like "yacht". Okay, got it, that makes more sense. Go ahead.

Q: What's your favorite Dylan song?

L: Bob Dylan?

Q: Yeah.

L: Ummm..... What's it called? Is it "Girl From Belle Isle"?

Q: "Belle From Belle Isle".

L: Is it "Belle From Belle Isle"?

Q: I don't know.

L: I feel like it's "Girl From Belle Isle". (HA. It's just "Belle Isle"). If you were to create something autobiographical - so if you had to do a film or create an album or create an art exhibit - what would its title be? Basically, what would you title your life story.

Q: Shit.

L: *laughs*

Q: Since I didn't have this as my yearbook quote, it would be "See You Next Tuesday", written out.

L: Written out? What else?

Q: No, C U Next Tuesday because it's, like, a euphemism for "cunt". And I think it's really funny.

L: Yeah, but you would have it like "S-E-E"?

Q: Yeah! Do it completely written out. Salt or pepper?

L: Salt. I mean, I like pepper and I like it better than salt in certain dishes but I use salt way more. What was your favorite class in high school?

Q: Hmm. It would have to be a tie between Photography, which is really open-ended, and Mixed Media my senior year.

L: Why?

Q: Because I feel like I really concentrated my focus and became a lot more aware of what I was making.

L: Cool.

Q: What are you most afraid of?

L: Like, what's my biggest fear or stuff about real life?

Q: Real life. Realistic, pragmatic shit.

L: Hm, I think my worst fear is probably... I mean, like I was saying there's kind of a real-life one and a "could-happen-but-not-as-realistic".

Q: Do your Reality one and Not-As-Reality-One.

L: I feel like my biggest fear is having people I love dying, people that are very close to me. But in terms of what am I scared of now that we're going into college and stuff, it would probably have to be being old or on my deathbed and realizing I didn't really do what I wanted to do. Who are your biggest heroes?

Q: Um... Who are my biggest heroes?

L: Hero-slash-inspiration for sure.

Q: That's hard.

L: Your queen or king right now. I mean, maybe Zoe Kravitz because you love her.

Q: Zoe Kravitz and, like, Adwoa Aboah are my two style inspirations for sure. Um, Jack White was my biggest hero when I was a kid. Peter Shire! Who's a ceramicist based in Echo Park and he loves striped shirts. Maybe Devendra Banhart, too...Too many people.

L: Well, I said "heroes" not "hero", so it's fine!

Q: I think everyone is my greatest inspiration. That's gonna be my final answer.

L: So dumb. *laughs*

Q: *laughs*

L: I feel like Devendra Banhart, I like him more than his music but I still like his music a lot. But I just like him a lot. Go.

Q: Okay, a little game here... So, first Smash or Pass: Fred Armisen.

L: I mean, smash I guess.

Q: For the story.

L: Yeah! That'd make a great story. And I just feel like that'd be a great thing to do. Because, like I was saying, on your deathbed if you didn't do everything you wanted to do and you die then that sucks, but imagine being on your deathbed and being like, I-

Q: -wanted to smash Fred Armisen.

L: Not wanted to, I did, man. Okay. What's your most prized possession? In your possession?

Q: Materialistic or meaningful? Or both?

L: Well, I feel like "most prized" has to do with making that decision.

Q: Yeah, that's true. My most prized possession is my body.

L: Stop. Be serious!

Q: *laughs* I don't know.

L: You have to have an object where you're like, "I would save this in a fire". I feel like your family has so many antiques or stuff that has been handed down.

Q: Yeah, little stuff. Probably... I don't know, there's a photo, like a weird Polaroid selfie my dad sent to me but he didn't put it in an envelope. Like, it's just the address on the back of the photograph and you can't even see his face.

L: *laughs*

Q: That he sent to me when I was 3 or 4.

L: *laughs* Why would he do that?

Q: I don't know but it's a miracle that it got to our house.

L: That's so funny.

Q: And it just says, like, "Hi. Love, Dad".

L: *guffaws*

Q: Like, it's nothing special. *laughs*

L: That's hilarious.

Q: That's a pretty meaningful object to me.

L: Okay. That's a good answer.

Q: Okay, second round of Smash or Pass: Danny Phantom.

L: Oh my God! Smash as hell! Way more than Fred Armisen.

Q: Smash the ghost out of him.

L: If I had to pick one out of those two, it would obviously be the cartoon.

Q: Well, the last Smash or Pass I have is a killer. It's great.

L: Okay...

Q: Prepare yourself.

L: *snickers* What's the last good book that you read?

Q: It was a good book and the last book I read. I don't read that much. It would be "The Doors of Perception". But also (my boyfriend) gave it to me so...

L: Oh! About what?

Q: It's about a guy who's on mescaline. Mes-cuh-leen? Mes-cuh-lin? Um. And his experience. And the idea of, like, perceiving things through your eyes.

L: Cool. Nice.

Q: Okay, final round of Smash or Pass!

L: *groans* Is it Ted Bundy.

Q: No, you ready? O.J. Simpson. *laughs*

L: Oh, God! Pass! Why would I want to do that?

Q: For the story! What if he just killed you? *laughs*

L: No! People would, like, shame you for that. And that wouldn't be something you'd want to brag about. At all.

Q: *giggles* Major personal gain.

L: Mm. Um. What's your current favorite song?

Q: *trumpet noise* That's my current favorite song. No.

L: *laughs*

Q: What have I been listening to? What's that breakup song?

L: "Break Up Together" by Theo Katzman.

Q: "Break Up Together" by Theo Katzman. Very Jewish name.

L: It is.

Q: What do you want done with your body after you've died?

L: I suppose cremation? I feel like being buried just kind of weirds me out but that's just a personal thing, I feel like if someone else wants to get buried that's their choice. But I also know that cremation has been said to release not-the-best fumes for the environment, but I feel like being buried is probably worse. So, cremation I guess. And I think it'd be cool to pick where you spread your ashes. Instead of just like, *old-man voice* "Bury me at Arlington Cemetary."

Q: "Arlington Cemetary". *laughs*

L: I mean, I wouldn't be buried at Arlington Cemetary. What is your favorite past decade, assuming there was no bigotry, and why?

Q: I would say 70s for sure, because of the music and general culture.

L: Yeah. I love the 70s too.

Q: Words to live by?

L: Like, a quote?

Q: Just words to live by.

L: Oh, just something-

Q: It could be "catdogcat". And you could live by that.

L: *laughs* Um... that's hard. Let me think for a second. Hm. "Live and let live".

Q: What the hell does that mean?

L: It means, like, live your life and don't worry about other people!

Q: "Let live"?

L: Yeah, "let live", you've never heard that?

Q: I have, but it's like you're giving permission.

L: To who?

Q: To everybody else to live, like "live and let live".

L: Well, you put me on the spot with an intense question and I have no clue what I would actually want my motto to be.

Q: I know. Okay.

L: That's my quick answer.

Q: Got it.

L: What's one thing you'll miss about Baltimore?

Q: The health food store...

L: It's OK Natural.

Q: OK Natural Foods. On Preston Street. We'll link. Final question. What do you have to say to yourself in the future?

L: *laughs* "Hope you're doing well"? I don't know. I don't want to ask questions. Like, "Hope you're alive and happy". So. I think that when we were young and stuff you started developing your style pretty early so what influe-

Q: *grimaces*

L: -it's true! So what influenced your style when you were younger? I mean, when we look back we're like, "Oh those are all mistakes" but like it developed into what you have now.

Q: Yeah, I mean, all during 5th grade I wore basketball shorts and my dad's old shirts. I don't know. I think, like, my nana? Because she's always had this weird-Japanese-minimalist-linen style going on that I think is influential.

L: Cool. So, you grew up in a fairly middle-ish class white family so what elements led you towards a path of being aware about other people? I mean did your parents teach you to be like that or did you just do it or what?

Q: I mean from when I was born up until I was 6 or 7, we didn't have the socioeconomic status we have now because it was just my mom, my grandma, and I. And we lived in a community that was very diverse but that was mainly due to the class aspect of it just because race and class are so tied - then, 12 years ago, and now. So, being in a diverse community, that definitely had an effect. And just generally not being ignorant, like, just coming from a family that's really loving and accepting of what everybody does.

L: Okay, there are 3 more questions... What is your biggest frustration as an educated, 'woke' white person?

Q: Seeing other white people who are very ignorant, like the white supremacists who've come out of the woodwork now and are blaming people of color for all of the bad that's happened to them when, for the most part, it's just privileged white people who have negatively impacted working class white folks. And they've just failed to recognize it and choose to put that blame on people of color, which is really unfair to see. I don't know. To me, it's kind of obvious but they choose not to see that.

L: And you mean just, like, the richest white people.

Q: Right, the top 1% are the ones who are screwing most people over.

L: Including other white people.

Q: Definitely including other white people. If not more so in certain aspects.

L: Yeah. Right. What's one thing you wish you were better at? It could be a skill but it could also be a mental thing, or whatever.

Q: Yeah. I wish I was better at exercising.

L: *laughs*

Q: Which I could get better at but I just, I.. I feel like I'm going to die whenever I start doing it. Which is how everyone feels, but.

L: Yeah.

Q: Maybe I desire more stamina. Maybe I don't have enough stamina.

L: I think whenever you've exercised you've not done it for long enough for you to feel good when you exercise.

Q: Yeah. So, maybe I desire stamina, I want to get better at that.

L: Yeah. Rad, okay. Last one: It's basically the question that you asked at the beginning, what's one favorite memory of us hanging out?

Q: What's one favorite... *laughs* We had a time in, like... *chuckles*

L: *laughs* What?

Q: It was, like, third grade I think and I slept over at your house. And I remember we had a fire and I just felt really, really sick but I didn't say anything about it.

L: Oh yeah! *laughs*

Q: I just drank a lot of cranberry juice. There was, like, a Nalgene bottle, 38 ounces of fucking cranberry juice and I was just sipping it.

L: Oh my God, I remember that!

Q: Do you?!

L: Yeah, I do! *laughs* I think my mom, like, poured it all in for you.

Q: Yeah, and then we went to sleep and we both woke up feeling like death.

L: Like, awful. *laughs* You had probably breathed into my face all night.

Q: And in the morning I think we had fevers.

L: I think we both had strep.

Q: And we were really delirious but all I remember is, I think we had lollipops and we were just laughing in bed and then our moms came in and I didn't want to leave because we just kept laughing.

L: Right, right. Ugh, that's awful.

Q: It's so funny.

L: I remember that happening.

Q: It was a very sweet moment, it was like we didn't care that we were sick and felt so bad because we were just laughing so much.

L: I remember I woke up and you left and then I woke up, like, 6 hours later after taking a long nap and I felt horrible.

Q: I'm sorry. Future Me to you.

L: It was just really bad. Yeah. Okay. That's a wrap!

Q: That was really fun.





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